Category Archives: Weekly Timewasters

The Adventures of Thalia and Friends: Lit!

Not everyone knows this, but cockroaches are pretty much universally hated. Like, it’s not that they’re unpleasant. I mean they are, but so are rats, so I can’t really judge them for that. The real problem with roaches though, is how flat out dumb they are.

“Whoo! We’re gonna party hard tonight!”

I sighed as Euterpe bounced around the pipes. Ever since he’d moved in with the letter-shirt humans he’d been especially insufferable. Calliope and I were fairly certain he was mimicking them, and his open invitation to all of the buildings residents to join him for a party inside the ceiling tiles was further proof of our theory.

“You look miserable, you know that?” Calliope said, sounding more amused than concerned for my well being.

“Do I? Can’t imagine why,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s not like I was promised food and haven’t gotten any.”

Calliope laughed. She always had a better humor for these things.

“Check it!” Euterpe said, waving his antennae at a large glass bottle that was half filled with an absolutely foul smelling liquid.

“Is that human stupid juice?” Calliope asked. Euterpe nodded, practically buzzing with excitement.

Continue reading The Adventures of Thalia and Friends: Lit!

The Adventures of Thalia and Friends: Candy Run

Springtime is a good time for my friends and me. It starts warming up, for one thing, and then the humans all start spending time outside, which means we have free reign over their rooms. The best part of spring though, at least in my opinion, is the candy.

I’ve never been sure what it is about this time of year that causes the humans to start hoarding candy, and they don’t all do it. Last year a bird named Melpomene got trapped in the building, and she said the humans collected candy as part of a ritual for appeasing the little humans, but that never made sense to me since our building doesn’t have any small humans in it.

Regardless of why they do it, every year without fail, the humans gather up bags and bags of sugary, delicious candy, and then leave it all in their rooms to go sit outside on a blanket for no apparent reason.

Usually, it’s just Calliope and me who go on candy runs together, but today we’d been invited over by one of the rats who lived on the fourth floor, and oh, how that changed things.

“Thalia! Calliope! There you are!”

Erato greeted us with excitement in her voice, already practically bouncing with excitement. I tried not to visibly swoon. Erato is the cutest rat I’ve ever met, and she’s pretty much perfect in every possible way. Hanging out with her is amazing, but it’s also terrifying because I worry about messing things up by saying something dumb.

Today though, today we had candy to eat. And doesn’t that just make every situation better? Especially when Erato led us back to the room she liked to stay in and revealed the giant bag of colorful little beans that was sitting on the floor.

“Gosh, your humans are great,” Calliope said, staring up at the bag in awe.

“It’s being held shut by a bag clip,” Erato said smugly, grabbing onto the edge of the bag and bringing it down to our level. The simple plastic clip came off with ease, as it didn’t even require opposable thumbs to remove. Silly humans.

The bag opened, and a wave of sugary goodness spilled out across the floor. It was amazing. It was colorful. It smelled so good. It was absolutely—

“Ahhhh! Ew! Oh my god, there are rats in my dorm!”

The three of us looked up in panic to see that the door had opened and Erato’s humans had returned.

“Uh oh.”

“Eeeek! Kill it! Kill them! This is so gross!”

“We should run now.”

The Adventures of Thalia and Friends: The Break-In

I didn’t know who or what decided the weather, but around here, when it got cold, it was cold, and I felt pity for anyone who didn’t have the option of retreating into the relative warmth of a dorm building.

Mostly, I felt bad for Polyhymnia, as her ongoing attempts to break into the building only got more desperate on days like today.  She’d spent the last hour or so attempting to climb the fire escape, and the windowsill I was sitting on gave me the perfect view. It wasn’t going well.

“She still at it?” Calliope asked. She had given up on watching  Polyhymnia fall and was now digging through the accumulated food in the small room. Why the humans piled up perfectly good food with random stuff and locked it all up in a small room was beyond my understanding, but I appreciated the ease of access.

“Yep. She’s trying to use a little tree to lean over onto the metal platform. It’s not really working,” I said.

“Poor Polly,” Calliope said. “I wish there was a way we could help her out.”

“How? She can’t fit through the holes we use to get in and out,” I said. I like Calliope, but sometimes I think she’s a little too nice for her own good. Maybe it’s a mouse thing?

“I know, Tals, but what if we could get the humans to open a door for her? Or maybe prop one open!” Calliope said. I sighed.

“Cali, I love you, but that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,” I said. “You know how the humans get when they spot us, we’d never pull something like that off. And even if we did, they’d spot Polly in an instant. What if she got hurt?”

Calliope sighed. “I know, but I hate seeing her struggle like this.”

Just as she spoke there was a crash outside, followed by a human screaming. I looked back out the window to see that the little tree Polyhymnia had been using had been uprooted, and had crashed into the building. There was now a human screaming and pointing at Polyhymnia while another human chased her away with a broom.

“I think she’s giving up now,” I said, watching her walk off.

“We should bring her something to cheer her up,” Calliope said. “I think I smell some pizza in here. The humans never try to stop us when we drag that around.”

“Sure, let’s do it,” I said, hopping down from the window to help Calliope look.

The Adventures of Thalia and Friends: The Starbucks Run

The upside of living on a college campus is that students tend to leave food everywhere. Sometimes they’ll even just give you food, if you do something funny for them.

The downside though is that they never give you the food you want. Ask for the hot dog, and you get part of the bun. Just one piece of pepperoni? They’ll give you a glob of cheese. Trying to get some of that divine smelling chicken? Hope you like pickles, cause that’s probably what you’ll get instead!

Personally, I don’t like trying to get food from humans. It’s a lot of effort for very little reward, and I always run the risk of being met with screams when I let them see me. Also, it only works outside (students hate finding a rat in the dorm rooms,  found that one out the hard way).

Calliope, however, loves getting humans to give up food, and as I am her best friend, she drags me out with her occasionally, and since today was the first time in months it had been warm enough for students to actually go outside, we left the relative comfort of the dorm room to make the journey to the campus Starbucks.

Calliope bounded up to the patio to beg for scraps, immediately getting a reaction from the humans. I decided to hang back, since Calliope was way better at this sort of thing.

“Awww, what a cute little mouse!”

“Ew! Rebecca, it probably has rabies!”

“Oh, don’t be mean, Kaitlyn. I’ll bet she’s just hungry.” The human was already pulling at whatever food item she had on the table. “Are you hungry, cutie?”

“Yes! Very! Give me your food, human!”

“Just listen to those happy squeaks!” The human cooed again and then tossed down some kind of bread. “There you go! Enjoy!”

Calliope grabbed the bread and returned to the bush I was hiding under. “Check it out, Thalia! It’s got something really yummy smelling on it!”

The bread did smell good, but it was still only bread. “Great work, Calliope!”

“Are you gonna try and get something, Tals?”

“I’m not sure they’d give me anything,” I said.

“So steal it.”

Calliope squeaked and practically jumped ten inches into the air at the unexpected voice, but I’d seen our new companion approaching from around the side of the building.

“Hey Polyhymnia,” I said, giving the raccoon my best smile.

“Polly! You scared me!” Calliope said, recovering from her fright. “And what do you mean steal?”

Polyhymnia grinned, letting her mischievous nature shine through. “Watch and learn, Cali.”

Polyhymnia crept towards the patio, keeping out of sight whenever she could.  She was only a few feet away from the humans Calliope had begged from when she pounced, hissing and baring her teeth.

The humans screamed, dropped their food and drinks, and then ran away. “This is why you don’t feed wild animals, Rebecca!”

Polyhymnia dragged her bounty off the patio, and Calliope and I rushed to help her.

“Woah! You got so much food!” Calliope said, investigating a sweet smelling bread.

“Not just food!” Polyhymnia said, nosing at the cups. “This human drink is amazing! And these ones are cold, so no burns!”

“What is it though?” I sniffed at the white drink; it smelled sweet.

“I dunno. But you should try it!” Polyhymnia said, trying to pry the lid off of the cup she’d grabbed. The liquid in her cup was brown. I slipped my head into the opening at the top of my cup, and gave the mysterious drink a taste.

“Holy—”


“Ian! Check out that crazy rat!” Kyle pointed towards the edge of the patio, where a rat was going nuts after having gotten into someone’s coffee.

“Dude! We gotta get that on film; we can put it on Tik Tok!” Kyle said, already pulling out his phone. “You go, coffee rat!”

 

Weekly Time Wasters: Top five SpongeBob Squarepants musical moments

#5.

Because when you’re wearing a striped sweater…

 

#4.

SpongeBob telling it how it is. No body wants to be the fool who rips their pants.

 

#3.

With Big Gigantic and Cherub coming to campus this semester, who better than SpongeBob and his jellyfish friends to get us in the mood for some EDM?

 

#2.

Remember that time SpongeBob made all of us Twisted Sister fans? Everyone at Whim certainly hasn’t forgotten.

 

#1.

And how could you forget about the Bubble Bowl? We all know you turned your TV’s speaks to max for this when you were a kid.

Weekly Timewasters: Best marketing ploys of all time

This beautiful “Call of Duty” parody is actually a clever ploy to advertise how awesome “Bulletstorm” looks in comparison. Accurate portrayal? I’d argue so.

Who could forget how intrigued they were after watching that mysterious trailer for “Transformers?” The marketing genius behind this is single-handedly at fault for our motion sickness.

Many pranks like this advertise movies, but none really got as viral as the one for Devil’s Due. What is it about demon babies that makes a movie so scary?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7tA1loHgGI

Finally, Marvel had us waiting for “The Avengers” ever since this moment in 2008 . The buildup to the collaboration was so well done that it became one of the highest-grossing movies of all time.

Weekly Time Wasters: Awkward teddy bears and slam dunks

Don’t like Valentines Day? At least you aren’t a teddy bear.

 

 

You don’t have to be a basketball fan to appreciate this level of talent.

 

 

The innocence of a cat makes Valentine’s Day better for us all.

 

 

Just a friendly reminder that we won’t learn everything we need to know in college.

 

Weekly Time Wasters: Vanessa Bayer goes fifty shades of awkward

Have a case of the early semester blues? Jimmy Fallon’s Lip Sync Battles never fail to amuse.

 

 

During the 2014 New York Comic Con Robert Franzese cosplayed as Peter Griffin from “Family Guy.” See for yourself just how well he nailed the part.

 

 

It looks like Vanessa Bayer doesn’t quite get this whole dominant/submissive “Fifty Shades of Grey” thing.

 

 

Rob Gronkowski came on Jimmy Kimmel live after winning the Super Bowl, he had a few things to say about that giant fight at the end of the game.

 

 

Ever wonder how they used green screens before computers? Well here’s how.

Weekly Time Wasters: Grandmas’ smoking marijuana and Saturday Night Live

Combining Cards Against Humanity and grandmas smoking weed sounds like a fun experiment.

 

 

It looks like Saturday Night Live finally tackled the executive order debacle.

 

 

Incase the first video got you too excited, this is to remind everyone that you still can’t smoke marijuana in New York or Washington, D.C.

 

 

BoJack Horseman wasn’t that good of a show, but it did have a pretty cool opening!

 

 

Weekly time wasters: Guardians of monsters and funny pets

Guardians Of The Galaxy was a must see this summer but what was its best part? The awesome sound track of course!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can we just marvel at this music video? Of Monsters and Men really hit on something beautifully funky here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone loves a funny pet, but what about one that knows it’s funny?

 

 

 

 

 

Looks like the Diary cats are back thanks to BuzzFeed it’s partner, Friskies, but hey, at least the cats are still funny!

 

Weekly Time Wasters: 2CELLOS and Lindsey Stirling

During Electronic Entertainment Expo last June it was revealed that the Master Chief Collection will make Halo’s first appearance on the year-old XboxOne. Why not celebrate with Lindsey Stirling’s rendition of Halo’s theme song?


Lindsey Stirling makes the Assassin’s Creed III theme her own.


Keeping with the music theme, check out this awesome version of AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” played by 2CELLOS.


Now that we know we love 2CELLOS lets splice in some “Welcome To the Jungle” by Guns N Roses and the always-lovable Ellen DeGeneres.

Weekly Time Wasters: Panic at the Disco covers Queen

If you’ve heard of Panic At the Disco then you know they love to switch up their style, but this video takes it to a new level.

You’ve probably heard about “50 Shades of Grey” but odds are you haven’t discussed the novel with your grandparents.

A child thats ten years or younger would consider the xbox360 and the PS3 the oldest gaming consoles they’ve been alive for. If you’ve ever wondered how these kids would react to a classic Nintendo then this video is am must watch.

Weekly Time Wasters: Volcanic explosions and spider dog!

This video is just beautiful. What’s not to like, there’s volcanic explosion, a massive shockwave, and a man trying not to swear like a sailor!

This video game mash-up shows us just how absurd some of our favorite video games would be in real life. Perhaps bad graphics can be a good thing.

You could lose entire days in Roller Coaster Tycoon, just imagine if it was a 4 dimensional game!

It’s official, we love Mutant Giant Spider Dog! Who doesn’t love a sinister idea with an adorable twist?