I love hearing your music from across town

Want to know my favorite 2 a.m. pastime? Trying to tune out the bumping bass next door as my neighbor’s speakers literally vibrate the metal springs in my bed; it’s really very soothing. Why get an expensive massage when I can get one for free by sharing a wall with them? Awesome, that could save me a ton of money in chiropractor visits. Also, working hard to fall asleep every night is actually making me a heavier sleeper. Making a real effort for sleep makes the sleep more meaningful. I won’t say the sleep is better, but it’s certainly less boring.

Honestly though, I love hearing Eminem cussing up a storm at 8 a.m. It’s such a great alarm clock; I don’t even need my morning coffee. It really gets me revved up for a fantastic day. His songs about drugs, sex, anger and loose women really motivate me to do my best in classes so I can graduate and be a successful woman. I hop out of bed every morning and boogie down as I rub the sleep out of my eyes; it’s endlessly enjoyable.

Loud music. Photo from Creative Commons.

I may not have the same taste in music that you do, but when you blast your screaming rock so loud that I feel as if my eardrums may burst, it makes me feel differently. It’s a great way to help me realize your taste in music is far superior to mine. So please, turn up the volume when you drive around my neighborhood or park near a building I have class in.

I think its good training for students to struggle for concentration in their everyday lives; it will teach them to tune unimportant things out. They may have to learn that lesson slowly, but in the end they’ll be better off prioritizing their knowledge and attention. What did the professor say? It doesn’t matter; your music was way more important.

Headphones? Please. Why would those even be necessary? What a stupid useless invention! I want you to share your music with the world and express yourself in any way possible. It shouldn’t matter who it inconveniences. So what if Lil’ Wayne’s lyrics are totally offensive to women? People should be less touchy about it; he wants to have sex with every girl in the world, that’s not wrong. Actually, it’s really classy and attractive. I want to hear him screaming expletives in the parking lot when I walk into Kroger; it adds a special edge to every trip to the store.

It’s totally ridiculous for people to go to Young Hall to try to study; that’s what their rooms are for! So, it’s totally your place to teach them that lesson by playing whatever music videos you want as loud as you can in the public computer lab. If they want to study there, they should have to listen to your music because you obviously have more important work to get done than they do. The music isn’t distracting you, so it shouldn’t be an issue for them either.

Bottom line, your musical choices are really important. It’s even more important to make sure every person at this university knows it. Your blaring speakers are adding color to the dull and dreary lives the students lead here. You’re actually making them stronger students and individuals. It’s really admirable that you’ve undertaken that task so selflessly.

I just want to personally thank you.

Keep up the good work!