Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Fox News

Looking back through several of my older articles, I always seem to use Fox News as the butt of my jokes. I’m unapologetic about my disgust towards their style of “reporting.” It’s about time I put it to rest once and for all.

Fox News pundit Anna Kooiman recently decided to take on a story about Obama funding a museum of Muslim culture with his own money. That doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? Actually, I would argue that’s rather noble of him, because that can’t be cheap. She asserts that the money would actually be paid by the RNC, but never went on to explain how or why. It seems like a bizarre story already, but preposterous enough to get the highly Republican fan base up in arms.

Fox News doesn’t care about facts. Photo from Julian Guerra.

The reason this story seems so bizarre is because it’s made up. It was put out by a satirical news site called National Report. This story was used by Fox News to outrage the conservative Christian demographic that still believes Obama is a Muslim. By telling them that he is keeping a Muslim museum open but still won’t open the World War II memorial, they generated a lot of outrage and it wasn’t even real.

This blows my mind. Fox News doesn’t care about facts, and I’m not convinced they ever did. These people are so obsessed with antagonizing Obama that they’ve desecrated the art of journalism. Fact checking? Not important, as long as it is a string of words arranged in such a way that it could make Obama look like a socialist, Nazi, Muslim antichrist.

Liberals have taken to calling the network “Faux News.” I can’t bring myself to call it that. As a New Orleans Saints fan and a student with six years of French classes to my credit, I respect the French culture and language. I wouldn’t think to insult them by tagging Fox News with their language, even if it is mildly clever.

These are the same people who fabricated the war on Christmas, entertained the idea that Obama wasn’t born in America and regularly display subtle undertones of racism and religious intolerance. You know you’re a joke of a news source when you regularly end up on other people’s news because you said something absurd. My personal conspiracy theory is that Fox News is funded by Comedy Central to provide Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert with an infinite supply of content. Story at 11.

I have hopes for a career in political journalism one day. It kills me to know that my dream job is being cheapened by people who tell lies to further their agenda. The worst part is people actually believe the lies and will repeat them like scripture itself. I need to go cry in a corner.

I have nothing against biased media. Heck, I am biased media. Fox News calls itself the right-wing equivalent to the liberal media. Sure they are, and that’s fine. I’ve been guilty of checking in with MSNBC on occasion. Sometimes you just want to turn on the TV and watch the news in a way that’s told by people who think the way you do. Have your biased media; just make sure everything you put up there is true. It’s a miracle Fox News hasn’t been sued for slander. They’ve got some nerve to claim they’re “fair and balanced.”

So what does the Fox say? Honestly, I’d prefer something like “wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow” because that’s still less ridiculous than the garbage on the air. Redeeming qualities? 404 file not found. If we want to have nice things, Fox news needs to cease to exist so we can make room for actual news.