Highlanders Anonymous: In sickness and in health

My fiance cheated on me. I decided to forgive him (since we’ve been together for seven years), but I can’t get over it. I don’t want to leave him, but I’m going crazy jealous, and I’m not usually a jealous person. I feel like he and I are on the edge of breaking up, and I’m not sure I care (I’m 19 years old.) It’s been six months since then, and it’s still not getting better, despite couple’s counseling. Help!

You need to drop him, and not just because he cheated.

married
“Treat me like a joke, I’ll drop you like it’s funny.” Photo from EvensongRetreat.com.

The two of you have been together for seven years, which means you’ve been with your boyfriend since you were around thirteen years old. What are you doing with a guy you’ve been with since middle school?

Your reaction proves something: you’re clocking out of this relationship. You don’t trust your boyfriend, and you’re overreacting in order to save something you probably know doesn’t warrant saving. That’s usually what happens when a partner cheats, and is why most relationships end after infidelity. While he might deserve a second chance, you may not be capable of giving him one.

It is also disturbing that a twenty-year-old is going to couple’s counseling.

A seven-year couple like yourselves may have kids; if that’s the case, you should continue couple’s counseling and try to save your relationship. If you don’t have kids, you need to take a good, long look in the mirror and ask yourself whether this relationship is worth saving. You were a child when you got into this relationship, but now you might have to be an adult and end it.

You’ve admitted to wanting to dissolve the relationship. Take a week away from one another and decide how you feel about being away from him. If you decide you want him, ask him to stay, but keep your space. You can take solace in the fact that your first relationship lasted longer than some marriages!

My boyfriend dumped me over Facebook. I suspect he was drunk when he did it, because he feels really guilty about it and wishes he didn’t do it; but he still thinks we shouldn’t get back together because he feels like he’s done something unforgivable. We’ve been together for three years. Please help me convince him to come back to me!

You should smack your palm five or six times against your face before reading this answer. Here’s a picture if you want more information on what to do.

Why are you dating this guy?

It doesn’t matter how drunk your boyfriend was. It really doesn’t even matter how long the two of you have been dating (though honestly, the length of time you’ve been with him makes him even more of a cad).

You were together for three years. The only way this could possibly be justifiable is if he feared for his safety and calling would have been dangerous. He didn’t try to rectify it as soon as he “sobered up,” which obviously indicates that he wanted to do it. He wanted to end things with you, and he likely got drunk and did it in the worst way possible.

It’s hard to hear, but knowing that your boyfriend is an absolute cad might help you get over him more quickly.

You can’t convince him to come back to you; usually someone who decides to do something sticks with their decision until they change their mind. All you can do is wait and (maybe) hope he comes back. The latter is not advisable; he’s not worth your time. Go find someone who doesn’t get drunk and completely destroy your relationship.

It’s my freshman year of college, and I’m constantly getting sick! Help!

It could be caused by allergies, a change of the seasons, a different atmosphere than what you’re used to, constantly being around other germ vectors (particularly roommates, if you live in a dorm) or by a combination of the three.

Here’s what you do.

1.) Buy a vaporizer if they allow them in your dorm/apartment. Also, if your roommate doesn’t mind, air purifiers are awesome.

2.) Allergy medication and Mucinex are your best friends. Cough drops are more like the friends that show up at your dorm expecting free pizza, but you might as well have them over. They’re good to have around during those lonely, cough-filled nights. Get Ricolas, despite the fact that the menthol variety tastes disgusting after the sixth or seventh one.

3.) Avoid eating too much junk food. You shouldn’t eat all the brownies just because you can have all the brownies.

4.) Get to know hand sanitizer better. If you have a roommate who is sick all the time, you should wash your hands obsessively (dry skin be damned). If you are the roommate who’s sick all the time, get some Lysol wipes and wipe down everything that’s shared on a daily basis; your roommates will thank you.

5.) The health center’s free; antibiotics aren’t. Selling plasma when you’re sick isn’t the best way to go about getting the $50 to $100 needed for them. Swallow your pride and ask your parents for some money. You don’t want this to turn into pneumonia, which could happen since winter is coming.

6.) Don’t miss too many classes. Sometimes this means going to class with a cold. Of course don’t go in with the flu (especially since some of the professors are older and you might be interacting with kids), but don’t be afraid to come in with a bad head cold.

Hope that helps.

See you next week! You can submit questions here.

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