Highlanders Anonymous: When to call it quits

My boyfriend is a gigantic drunk. He gets drunk almost every day. He tells me he’s fine, but I think he’s becoming an alcoholic; could you please help me on this? Should I continue to date him?

No.

There’s no shame in drinking, even drinking to excess if you do it responsibly. It’s not even illegal if he’s 21 years old. People can indulge in a little alcohol and be fine. However, if he’s getting drunk every day, he’s got a problem, and you need to figure out whether you want to make his problems your problems.

Don’t listen to him when he says it’s a normal part of the college experience; it isn’t. You have the right to look for a guy who doesn’t make you uncomfortable with his drinking habits, so go ahead and look for him. Tell your boyfriend you need to end things because his drinking makes you uncomfortable, then leave. It’ll be painful, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

My boyfriend has a video game addiction. In fact, it’s so bad we haven’t had sex in months because he’s always playing video games when we hang out. Please help?

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Video games are fun; however, you should never neglect your partner in favor of a video game. Photo by Sydney Crawson.

Video games are fun; however, you should never neglect your partner in favor of a video game. Most people wouldn’t do it, and it’s generally considered bad form.

What your boyfriend is telling you is that you’re not important enough for him to put down the video game in order to give you the attention you deserve. Either this means he’s clocked out of the relationship and is telling you this in a spectacularly awful manner or he’s got a serious problem. Either way, you need to leave now. This isn’t going to get better, only worse.

Tell him why you’re leaving him in no uncertain terms. Tell him he’s a jerk and needs to get help. Don’t let him stop you.

I caught my boyfriend sexting his ex…

No. Just no.

Snooping is usually a bad idea, but sometimes it’s justified. You may not even have been snooping; maybe you were borrowing his phone to play Angry Birds. Maybe you answered his phone because he was in the bathroom. Maybe you’re an insane crazy snooping jealous girlfriend (and if this is the case… maybe calm it down a little). The circumstances are irrelevant.

When you’re in a relationship, you follow certain rules. One of these rules is to never send sexual texts or photos to your ex unless your partner knows about it and approves, which you obviously don’t. This is cheating, and while your boyfriend may not be a serial cheater (there might be weird circumstances behind this), this’s something you don’t need to be a part of.

Tell him you snooped. Ignore his protests. Tell him what you saw. He’ll likely try to blame you for it in some capacity. Don’t let it get to you. Just let him say what he wants to say, then leave. It’s not worth it.

You can submit your questions here.