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Pizza palooza part 2: too fast, too saucy – Whim Magazine

Pizza palooza part 2: too fast, too saucy

I consider myself to be something of a pizza connoisseur. I’ve dedicated my life to the pursuit of the perfect combination of dough, cheese and sauce. I grew up in a small town with 500 people and seven pizza restaurants. I have forgotten more about pizza than you know about anything. I love pizza more than I’ll ever love a living human being. Because of my unconditional love for this delicacy, I’m committed to finding the perfect slice here in Radford.

While the fabulous Becca Lynch compared Mike’s Famous and Highlander Pizza, I aim to continue her noble research by expanding the competitors. This article will judge Benny’s Pizzeria, Little Caesar’s and the ever so revered pizza of Dalton Hall’s “Crave” section. These pizza vendors will be judged on atmosphere, appearance, taste and overall experience, with every restaurant being judged on their cheese pizza.

Benny’s

Benny's pizza came out on top. Image from Urban Spoon.
Benny’s pizza came out on top. Image from Urban Spoon.

            This restaurant holds a very dear place in the hearts of the Radford student body for it’s love of large serving sizes, university culture and even numbers. The building has a warm and welcoming vibe with music and university-related fliers and sketches. My heart quivered with anticipation (and probably pizza related health complications) as I watched the bubbling cheese pizza meet hot sauce in what was surely one of the most fulfilling food options that Radford, nay, the world, has to offer. While it may seem like Benny’s is going for quantity over quality (the slice is bigger than my head/life expectancy!), rest assured it is cheesy, saucy perfection.

Overall Rating: 9.3/10

Dalton Hall

            While I’m by no means an anti-Radford man, even I can admit that the esteemed Dalton Cafeteria is not the peak of gourmet cuisine. However, it was with high hopes and great appetite that I swiped into the hall and was granted access to a buffet of pizza. The overall feel of the hall was college incarnate, with loud conversation and awful music abound. Objectively bad, but in an endearing way. The pizza however, was less enjoyable. A soggy, practically wet mess of spaghetti sauce and grocery store cheese that simply leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I wouldn’t recommend it to the average productive member of society, but for the near-starving late-semester college student, it gets the job done.

Overall Rating: 3/10

Little Caesar’s

It’s $5 for a whole pizza! Everything about it screams college! While walking into the fast food chain is akin to a factory filled with pizza laborers (the best kind of laborer), the pizza that’s distributed within actually has a surprisingly homey taste to it. While the old adage goes “You get what you pay for,” Little Caesar’s doesn’t taste like a pizza that costs less than ten dollars. If you’re out of swipes on your flex account, this is the best money-for-pizza value on the market today.

Overall Rating: 6.5/10

 

Heed my advice and spend your money properly, so that one day we may all be able to afford the exorbitant hospital bills required by a pizza-based diet.