Now that you have survived the zombie invasion intact, you have returned to your normal college life. Everything is going fine until you start to realize your new roommate is looking a little pale. He or she has not left the dorm during the day in a week or so and doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite. You pass it off as just being the swine flu and move on. But as you walk through the night, you get this feeling of doom and start to notice that there does not seem to be as many people walking around the campus. Maybe it is just because they all died in the zombie invasion, who knows?

So you return to your dorm after a steady night of drinking and debauchery and you see your attractive lab partner enter the room. This strikes you as odd, but then again, you are drunk. She makes a move and starts kissing you. You are drunk so you go along until you feel teeth approaching your neck. You look closer and realize this girl is trying to bite your neck. The horrifying fact creeps into your mind that she is a vampire!

You run away, but your roommate stops you. He opens his mouth and exposes long fangs. You are now stuck between two vampires and right in the middle of a vampire epidemic. Now what do you do?

Vampires have been around since the Pagan era. They are usually clever, charming and blood-thirsty. At dusk they descend on unassuming communities to eagerly suck the blood out of people. They are near-invincible, but not unstoppable. There are things that people can do in order to stop them or at least to survive a vampire infestation.

Get religion

All vampires are evil, monstrous beings from hell. So in order to fully be able to stop them, you have to have some religious elements. Usually a crucifix, anointing oil or communion bread will at least stop vampires temporarily. Finding a church or cathedral could also help you survive until daylight.

Vampires hate religious paraphernalia and will usually avoid it at all costs.

If you are not Christian, do not fret. Just find a Christian and let them shield you from the vampire. If you are an Atheist and do not associate with spiritual people, you might just become part of the buffet.

Get all the essential deterrents

Just because vampires are nearly unstoppable does not mean that there is nothing that will hurt them or deter them. Things like garlic and some salts can temporarily injure vampires.

Make sure you have the right weaponry, too. Guns and knives will help you, but they are no match for a crucifix and a stake. When you go to attack the vampire, don’t waste time with the head or other extremities. Go straight for the heart and keep pounding until the vampire is dead.

Don’t hesitate to kill your friend or lover

Let’s face it: loved ones can be vampires, too. Unfortunately, there is not intervention or rehab for evil leeches. If your loved ones fall prey to vampires, they will cease to be who they once were. So as with zombies, do not hesitate to kill those close to you if they start to feed on you.

There is the outside chance that you might be able to find the head vampire and turn your friend or loved one back to normal. But really, is that a valid proposal? And please, please, do not think that having a vampire as a boyfriend or girlfriend is a good idea. I don’t care how many times you have seen “Twilight” , this is just not realistic.

An extension of this rule is not to be seduced by vampires. Vampires can prove charming to different sexes and to the same sexes. So make sure to not fall prey to their charm.

Find a werewolf

Nobody hates vampires worse than lycanthropes, i.e. werewolves. Find yourself suitable werewolf protection and you might just make it through the night. These furry creatures can sometimes be rather nice and tame.

However, do not try to approach a werewolf after they have shifted. Find them when they are human. You do not want to end up as dinner to another supernatural creature.

Wait until dawn

The key to surviving vampires is to wait until dawn. As soon as the sun comes out, the vampires will retire for the day. This way you can run to get help or try to follow them and kill them in their sleep. This step always works well, but beware: they can sometimes travel in packs.

Remember too that any sunlight will hurt a vampire, so make sure and use that to your advantage.

Consider the alternative

Perhaps there is a middle road. If you are a pacifist or just want a new experience, you could always ask the vampire to turn you into a vampire. Once you are a vampire then you don’t have to worry about surviving a vampire epidemic. You will be cursed, you can’t go to the beach and you will never again have a tan, but at least you get to live forever. How bad can being a vampire be?

Pictures from:

http://barbora.sofkova.sweb.cz/vampires.jpg

http://images.thegauntlet.com/pics/Theatre%20Des%20Vampires%20-%20Band.jpg

Tags: bloodsucker, insetation, radford, Radford University, survive, vampires, Whim

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.