Speaking to or about your significant other and calling them “crazy” can mean more than you would think. Not only are you slightly dehumanizing them, but you’re saying a lot about yourself. In some cases, an ex really is mentally ill and could be a real-life, court-certified stalker. Odds are that you actually are trying to disassociate from the history that the two of you share and that both parties are at fault.
Not only is playing the blame game childish, it’s also selfish. Walking around and spoiling another reputation is just plain spiteful. Instead of calling them “crazy,” you could reassess the situation and look at it from their point of view. Did you communicate how you felt to the best of your ability?
With that said, why do exes even start labeling one another as “crazy”? Sometimes, it’s just the quickest way to explain a consistent behavior that irks someone. Maybe sending forty text messages saying, “You better not be hanging out with that other skank,” could be perceived negatively by most people’s standards. However, sending one text asking where your boyfriend is may also be looked at the same way. As listeners, sometimes that’s forgotten. There is no telling what might set off a person’s “Wow, they’re nuts,” radar.
It’s hard to try and gauge how much attention a partner looks for in a relationship though. Other common situations also arise. For instance, a partner in the relationship suspects something fishy is going on and snoops. They discover that their boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them and they’re called, “crazy.” However, isn’t it just as crazy that this other person was keeping nasty secrets hidden away from everyone?
Some people still don’t consider how others interpret the action of them calling a significant other nuts. They might understand saying that about somebody is just another way to hide from your own problems and faults. This masks the hidden issues from your peers and family. You say you label someone when you simply can’t understand them, what they do, or how they think. Essentially, it’s just that you can’t understand yourself and therefore, can’t take control of the situation.