If anything this past month back in school has taught me, it’s that I am far from ready for this thing called adulthood that has been thrust upon me at age 18.
I’m not ready for the majority of adulthood. I’m not ready for the responsibility of being truly independent, and I applaud everyone who is. I’m not yet ready to give up naps in order to do work, or wake up early for an eight o’clock class (or maybe one earlier) just to be up again all night working or trying to squeeze in precious and necessary social interaction, worry about bills, cook the majority of my food, or make sure to eat balanced for that matter, or reach the day when my clothes must always match.
With all that I’m not ready to do, there are plenty of things I’ve realized that I’m looking forward to as I get further into adulthood. Though scary, I do look forward to the new responsibilities that come with it. It’s exciting to be able to participate in government, to have a voice and right, which if chosen to used, can bring amazing change. I am taking steps towards a career I am so excited about, in a field that I love and enjoy. I get excited thinking about one day sharing my own stories and embarrassing my kids in the way my parents embarrassed me. I am always learning in every aspect in life, from the good and the bad, slowly becoming wiser in my own way.
Even with the excitement, there’s also a fear of “growing up too fast”. We’ve probably heard it from our parents, grandparents, and many other adults in our lives. There is an ever growing list of things that I don’t ever want to lose while growing up and becoming an adult. I don’t want to give up juice boxes, because they are the best way to drink apple juice, taking Gerald the Giraffe everywhere I go, how excited I get over Disney movies, or the humor I get from them, the fun of the first snow, the importance of family dinners, the passion I have and get from the little things in life, and just being able to be silly at times.
I want to live a life growing up slowly, not losing the child that I once was, which is so hard to do in this world that is always moving too fast. It’s conflicting, because I also want to be taken seriously and be seen as responsible. I guess we just have to find that balance.
So, am I an adult yet? Maybe technically speaking, but I’m only a fraction of the way there. One day I will be though.