The Fairy Tale of Mr. Right

Mr. Right is a fairy tale told to little girls, so they know princes are real.

Mr. Right is kind, chivalrous, loyal, truly loves you, and not just for the sex.

Mr. Right won’t pressure you, never asking you to do anything that’ll hurt you.

Mr. Right won’t lay a hand on you without permission

He’ll even ask to kiss you and never hit you out of anger.

Mr. Right will be loved by your family and friends.

He’ll never make you jealous because you’re his woman, but he’s not a misogynist.


When a little girl meets a boy

She thinks he’s good because all boys are good to girls they’re interested in.

He’s nothing like the stories or romantic comedies.

He doesn’t say and do everything right, but she’ll let it go because she can save him,

Make a man out of a bad boy and he’ll be her trophy.

No one warns the little girls not to trust them.

He’ll screw her over, shred her flower petal heart and move on.

Not all boys are princes.

This will happen on repeat til the girls are women

Like listening to your favorite song except you hate it

Until they’re forced to lower those high expectations of prince charming

Down to he’s nice to me and is loyal but doesn’t do much else.

He won’t know your worth and take you for granted

Treating you like a piece of granite instead of a ruby.

He’ll ask you to do nasty things only a tramp would do,

But you’ll do it and he’ll take away your dignity and confidence,

Remove the crown off your head and replace it with a dunce cap.

And even if you do everything he wants

And treat him like a king when he’s a scumbag

He’ll still leave you broken, feeling like a dirty slut having lost your identity

As he tore you apart leaving rags of what was fine silk.


They’ll tell you if you don’t lower your expectations

You’ll be alone forever and that’s a lonely unfulfilling life

Because women can’t be happy alone.

“Find Mr. Wrong and drag him to the right”

But, also, don’t change anyone- you should love him for who he is.

However, what they don’t tell you is that a tango with Mr. Wrong

Can leave you so damaged Mr. Right won’t want you.

He can make you into Mrs. Wrong, destroy your reputation

And make you a whore, a former princess.


Even if you do find a Mr. Right,

He’ll be taken forever, happy with his Queen never to be alone again.

She’ll be wonderful, the dream girl,

And you’ll only be happy if you destroy them!

But can you be that monster? No.

So, be alone forever, a worthless hoe with Mr. Wrong,

Or maybe you’ll be lucky and find another Mr. Right.


If you happen to find a single Mr. Right

He’ll treat you like a princess.

Telling you how kind and wonderful you are.

How he doesn’t mind the scars from the past that maimed your once flawless skin.

He sees this broken princess and finds her fascinating

Wishing she’d never been harmed

But admiring her strength for preserving through every battle alone.

Now he’ll want to fight for her through every new battle

Helps to heal and renew her faith that not all guys are princes, but this one is.

He’ll love and care for her so long as she lets him.

He wants to fix your dead floral heart

And nurture it back to a beautiful garden that he can care for forever.

So maybe the fairy tales are true, but somewhat misguided.