Sometimes I think you’d be better off without me.
You’re so kind and beautiful and amazing, and you have so much potential, such a bright future ahead of you. You could change the world if you wanted to. You do change it, with every smile, every act of kindness, every stranger that you inspire to keep going.
I can’t do anything like that. I’ve only ever managed to break people down, and even when I try to be better, I can never build them up the way you do. I’ve never made anyone smile, at least, never anyone but you.
Did you know that you’re the only one who’s ever been happy to see me? The only one who’s ever smiled? I think you must, because there’s no other reason to smile at me so often. I don’t bring happiness the way that you do, quite the opposite, in fact.
I don’t know why you stay with me. You told me once that you couldn’t exist without me, but I’m not sure how that could be true. A world without Despair sounds like a very hopeful thing to me. Not that I could ever leave you and prove it.
I should. I should be the bigger person, and stop holding you back. But I can’t. I’m selfish and I know that I can’t live without you, I’m not sure that anyone could. I’ll have to, one day, when you realize how much better off you’d be without me in your life. But you haven’t yet, and I don’t have it in me to walk away from you.
I never thought that I, as the embodiment of Despair, could have ever gotten to know what it hope feels like. But you’ve given me that, and so much more. You’ve given me smiles, and happiness, and a love so pure that I feel unworthy of it. I know that I don’t deserve you, but hope that one day I will. It may be cheesy to say, but you are my Hope. And I hope that you always will be.