I didn’t grow up in the most friendly environment for that sort of stuff. I used to live down in Florida, and while I was down there, a lot of stuff was going on in my family, and my parents got divorced. But I moved to Virginia with my dad and stepmother. But neither my mom or my dad is friendly towards LGBTQ people in general. They really don’t like that sort of stuff. Being another sexuality other than straight wasn’t something I thought about quite a lot. I just always assumed I’m straight because I really couldn’t be anything else. But once I got away to college, got a chance to be on my own and think for myself, I started figuring out about more things and stuff because the same spiel and propaganda I dealt with at home wasn’t being forced on me. I could start talking to people who actually took the time to talk with me and talk through some of the opinions, thoughts, and ideas I had. Part of me always had a little suspicion that there was something like that in my head, but I never paid much attention to it because, with any attraction I had to guys, it was like, “I’m just going to ignore that. That’s not real. It’s just a fluke or whatever.” I couldn’t possibly be anything other than straight as far as I was concerned at the time. But once I got to college, I started paying attention to things more. And I just sort of had an epiphany at one point. It wasn’t like a big moment per se. I just was there for a while and just started thinking about it and kind of figured it out then. But it wasn’t just all of a sudden, bam, I’m bi. But I started getting there, and it was in freshman year of college I figured it out. It helped that I met some of the friends that I met, ‘cause they’re pretty big into that sort of stuff. From the start, they were very much like, “Yeah, we’re not going to hurt you for this.” That helped a fair bit with figuring it out and made me a bit more comfortable with things.
Sexuality is a social construct. It’s an idea or theory developed strictly on what society believes should define its citizens. It’s a way for society to put people in a box, to put a label on everyone in order to keep its people in line, to keep confusion and outliers out of the picture.
Why do people need labels in the first place? Why do we feel the need to fit into a certain category in order to make other people feel more comfortable? In a society that is based on individualism, don’t you think it’s a bit odd that we feel the need to group people, whether it be in sections of gender, race, sexuality, or any other way?
Not only is sexuality a social construct, but it’s also fluid. Sexuality is a spectrum, varying from one side to the other, with a giant space in between. That’s not to say that a person can’t identify with a specific sexuality, but it’s much more common for an individual to fit somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, or a least a little to the left or a little to the right from each extreme. More often than not, individuals feel the need to label themselves as a specific sexuality, whether it be gay, straight, or bisexual, when in reality, they don’t fit into one definite category. Society puts a certain pressure on people, to make them conform, even when it isn’t authentic to who a person is. It’s hard to be different in a society that doesn’t accept differences in itself.
There are many other sexualities other than gay, straight, and bisexual including pansexual, demisexual, asexual, and others, and even then, certain people wouldn’t feel that those labels accurately represent how they feel.
There should be no reason, in the first place, why a person would feel the need to put themselves in a box, to stick a label on their chest and say “this is who I like to date.” Sexuality isn’t the only thing that defines a person and there’s no point in trying to define oneself in the first place. People are complicated. Let’s leave it at that.