Tag Archives: girlfriend

Is it cheating?

When it comes to relationships, everyone has a different definition of cheating. For some people, cheating strictly means having sex with someone else. For other, kissing or even just thinking about being with someone else is cheating and isn’t tolerated, a zero toleration policy. I know one couple who give each other passes, where they can do whatever they want with other people and face no consequences for it. Here are the main ways to cheat and the different viewpoints surrounding them.

  1. Is it cheating? Graphic from Sex Advice Online
    Is it cheating? Graphic from Sex Advice Online

    Is thinking about another person intimately cheating?

In many relationships, mentally cheating on someone is the same, if not worse, than physically cheating on them. Relationships are based on a mental and emotional connection and if that get severed, than the basis for one’s relationship is broken or, essentially, built on false pretenses the entire time. It would be absolutely heartbreaking to know that your relationship is a lie and the connection you thought you had with someone is not as special as you thought.

  1. Is watching porn cheating?

Some people believe that watching porn is cheating, based on the idea that watching other people have sex is connecting to the cheating mentally idea. If you’re thinking about other people sexually, going as far as masturbating to other people, then essentially you’re having sex with different people in your mind, making it cheating and devastating to your partner.

  1.  When straight girls kiss other girls while being in a relationship, is it cheating?

This is a controversial question. There are many guys who would say no to this question because they think their girlfriends kissing other girls is hot and, somewhat, not real because they aren’t gay. However, this idea is detrimental to the gay community. It’s what doesn’t stop guys from hitting on girls who say they have a girlfriend. They don’t take it seriously because they think all lesbians are kissing girls for their entertainment and that, in the end, they’ll go back to dating men.

Girls kissing other girls should be considered cheating because it is. The gender of the person who is cheating with the person in the relationship really doesn’t matter. They were unfaithful. Simple as that.

Cheating, I think, is a black and white issue. Did you kiss/have sex with someone who isn’t me? Yes? Then you cheated on me. Bye. Although I agree that some cases of cheating are more complicated than others, cheating is cheating and it should never be done, no matter the circumstances. If you’re having problems in the relationship, talk them out. If you break up, that’s okay. It’s way better the break up than to cheat on your partner. Think before your decide to cheat.

Highlanders Anonymous: Allergies, birthdays, and over-spending

Cat allergies can cause problems
Cat allergies can cause problems. Graphic from Mother Nature Network

“I have two cats, but my girlfriend is allergic. She says she won’t come over to my place unless I get rid of them. Should I give the cats up?”

Hopefully, your girlfriend isn’t seriously thinking that you’ll get rid of your pets. If your cats mean anything to you, don’t get rid of them. Relationships come and go, but a pet is a companion for their whole lifetime.

If you’re actually considering giving the cats up, maybe you should. Having a pet is a huge commitment. Deciding to keep the cats or get rid of them shouldn’t be taken lightly. You’re in charge of two lives here. Pets depend on their owners to do what’s best for them. If that means a new home, then give them up.

“How can I tell if I’m bisexual?”

Are you attracted to both sexes? If yes, then you’re considered bisexual by themost basic definition. That doesn’t mean you have to pursue– or stay away from–same-sex relationships. It’s up to you who you’ll pursue in the future. I advise you not to pressure yourself with a label. Love who you love!

“Everyone forgot it was my birthday last week. Are they bad friends?”

Friends get busy and forget things. Don’t take it personally. They’re sure to feel bad when they realize their slip-up. If you want to celebrate your birthday, make it happen. Throw a party and don’t dwell on these negative thoughts.

“When I go to the store, I always buy way too many things. Sometimes, I only go to buy bread, milk, and eggs, but I come out with ten other items. I really don’t have money to spend on things I don’t need. How can I stop getting so sidetracked?”

It sounds like you’re are trying out a method of stress relief called “retail therapy.” This can effectively distract you from the real problems at hand, but it doesn’t  solve them. In fact, it’s probably making things worse because now you’re also going broke. Instead of shopping, go talk to somebody about your problems, and make a stricter budget.

 

I’m not crazy! You’re crazy!

Speaking to or about your significant other and calling them “crazy” can mean more than you would think. Not only are you slightly dehumanizing them, but you’re saying a lot about yourself. In some cases, an ex really is mentally ill and could be a real-life, court-certified stalker. Odds are that you actually are trying to disassociate from the history that the two of you share and that both parties are at fault.

"No, you're crazy!" Graphic by Danielle Glumsic
Arguing can make you say some things that aren’t true. Graphic by Danielle Glumsic

Not only is playing the blame game childish, it’s also selfish. Walking around and spoiling another reputation is just plain spiteful. Instead of calling them “crazy,” you could reassess the situation and look at it from their point of view. Did you communicate how you felt to the best of your ability?

With that said, why do exes even start labeling one another as “crazy”? Sometimes, it’s just the quickest way to explain a consistent behavior that irks someone. Maybe sending forty text messages saying, “You better not be hanging out with that other skank,” could be perceived negatively by most people’s standards. However, sending one text asking where your boyfriend is may also be looked at the same way. As listeners, sometimes that’s forgotten. There is no telling what might set off a person’s “Wow, they’re nuts,” radar.

It’s hard to try and gauge how much attention a partner looks for in a relationship though. Other common situations also arise. For instance, a partner in the relationship suspects something fishy is going on and snoops. They discover that their boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them and they’re called, “crazy.” However, isn’t it just as crazy that this other person was keeping nasty secrets hidden away from everyone?

Some people still don’t consider how others interpret the action of them calling a significant other nuts. They might understand saying that about somebody is just another way to hide from your own problems and faults. This masks the hidden issues from your peers and family. You say you label someone when you simply can’t understand them, what they do, or how they think. Essentially, it’s just that you can’t understand yourself and therefore, can’t take control of the situation.