Tag Archives: highlanders anonymous

Highlanders Anonymous: Sororities, Stress, and Going home for the weekend

“I want to join a sorority, but I’m scared of what people will think of me. I’m not a party girl or anything, but I was really into my church growing up and this is a nice chance to meet cool people while getting back into philanthropy. Should I do it?”

When you get to college you have so many incredible opportunities to get involved at your school. Greek life is definitely a pretty cool one, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. I suggest that you go to a bunch of informal rush events and mixers (if you haven’t already) to make sure that this is something that you truly want.

If it is, then to hell with everyone else’s opinions—you do what you want. It sounds like you’re getting into it for all the right reasons so the real question is, why shouldn’t you?

“I have way too much going on right now. I’m a freshman and I got involved with every club or organization I could get my hands on, but now I feel completely overwhelmed. What do I do?”

Make sure that you have a planner. It may seem elementary school-ish, but they really do work. Write down everything that you have to do every week including the due dates. This will help you organize everything in your mind which will certainly help with the stress.

Secondly, with all of your events and homework be sure to schedule in some time alone for yourself. “Monday 6pm- 8pm: watch two Once Upon A Time episodes with Halloween cookies.” It may seem dumb, but when you have to schedule everything else in your life so carefully it helps to know that you’re guaranteed some “me” time.

“I have a boyfriend back home that I really want to visit, but I don’t have a car. The longer we go without seeing each other the crazier I feel. I knew that long-distance would be hard, but I’m not sure if I can handle only seeing each other once every few months.”

First of all, yes, long-distance will continue to be hard, but there’s no reason that you guys can’t see each other on the weekends. There’s a bus that leaves Radford every Friday to take you to the real bus station and it returns on Sundays. It’s not too expensive either.

Another option you have is hitching a ride with someone else headed in that direction. Post on the RU Facebook page for your graduating class to see if anyone is headed where you want to go. Most people are willing to even go out of their way for you if you offer to pay for gas.

That’s all for this week, but remember to send in your anonymous questions for us to answer! Next week could be your question!

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Photo by: Danielle Johnson. Students: Sydney Puryear and Olivia Moorehead

When you get to college you have so many incredible opportunities to get involved at your school. Greek life is definitely a pretty cool one, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. I suggest that you go to a bunch of informal rush events and mixers (if you haven’t already) to make sure that this is something that you truly want.

If it is, then to hell with everyone else’s opinions—you do what you want. It sounds like you’re getting into it for all the right reasons so the real question is, why shouldn’t you?

 

 

Highlanders Anonymous: The how-to edition

“How can I spend less money?”

The number one way to save money (according to no real statistics) is to make a budget. I’m not just talking about a yearly or monthly budget either. No. I mean a weekly and daily budget. If you want to have control over your hard-earned money, you’ve got to strategize.

You can be strict with your budget and have fun too. The best way is to be realistic. If you know you’re going to buy food at school and go shopping every Friday,factor those things in. Making a plan doesn’t mean you can’t do things. What you can do is be more informed, so you’ll know how much you can spend at the mall. Budgeting is smart, no matter how old you are. This will reduce a lot of stress in your life. Knowing your limitations is important.

“How can I learn to cook for myself?”

There are many ways to learn how to cook. I suggest finding the most fun way for you. You can watch cooking shows, if you’re a visual learner and want some inspiration. Another way is to buy a cookbook or look at recipes online. Follow the instructions exactly if you’re not sure what you’re doing. You can improvise after you’ve got the basics down. Cook alone or with friends, whichever suits you.

“How do I get a good night’s sleep?”

Be aware of your health and state of mind. It may be harder to fall asleep if you have a lot on your mind. To wind down, you should get away from electronics and bright screens that stimulate your brain and keep you awake. I suggest reading a book, conveniently placed near your bed. Also, make sure not to eat too close to bed–it’s not good for your metabolism! Make yourself comfortable and relaxed.

“How do I learn a new language?”

To learn a new language, there’s nothing better than practice. The more time you put into learning the basic structure of a language and practicing  vocabulary, the better results you’ll see. Although it can be a struggle at first, try and integrate this new language as a part of your daily life. The more the language is used practically in your day to day, the easier it’ll be to remember to go back and work on your weaknesses and get better. Another really helpful thing is to speak to native speakers of the language. You can do this through language-learning sources, online or you can even get a pen pal.

Highlanders Anonymous: What now?

“I hate my job so much. Everyone is so annoying there, but I really need the money. How do I keep dealing with these people?”

If you really need the money, it’s worth it to stay at your job and try to work things out. Even if you’re able to adjust your budget and can afford to quit, try to stay there and figure things out. Jobs are essential for college students to learn valuable skills and gain experience and knowledge for resumes.

No matter where you go or what you do, there will always be difficult people with whom you are forced to cooperate.  Although it may leave a bad taste in your mouth to continue acting civil to someone you dislike, you might have to bite your tongue and let things go. Choose your battles and be kind when bringing up something that upsets you in your work environment.

A small issue can easily build into something extremely challenging to resolve when left alone.

What do I do now? Graphic from Bang2Write
What do I do now? Graphic from Bang2Write

“I’ve run out of problems to ask. Why am I so happy?”

That doesn’t really seem like a problem to me…

“Stress is killing me right now. I’ve fallen behind in a class and it’s too late to withdraw. I feel overwhelmed. What now?”

Right now, take a deep breath. It might not be too late to try and turn it around. It’s worth a shot to try and talk to your professors and ask them for a chance to get your act together. Although it seems unlikely sometimes, there are those out there that actually want you to succeed. Sometimes, if you explain your situation and state that you really want to succeed, they will be on board.

If not, you may very well fail your class. That is a really scary thought, but you can’t let it eat you up. We all fail sometimes. What’s the worst that’s going to happen if you fail this class? Isn’t it just a minor setback? Where can you go from here? Even if it’s difficult to carry on after the realization that you’re going to fail, it helps to ask: What’s next for me? That way, you can come up with a plan that will make you feel less helpless.

Personally, when I start taking action it makes me feel much more peaceful.

Highlanders Anonymous: Diets, Netflix, and so much more

How do I even diet?

To start a diet, you need a good reason  and a clear goal. Once you have those, you can plot out the course to success. The closer  track you keep of your progress, the more motivated you will be. There are a variety of  free online resources to help you diet in a safe and healthy way.

food weight
“Diet in a safe way that’s healthy.”

 

How much Netflix is too much?

Once you’ve started flaking out on commitments or become buried alive in an avalanche of dirty laundry. At that point, you may be escaping from reality a bit too much.

What’s the best way to keep from falling behind in my classes? I’m just trying to make it to spring break.

First of all, it’s good that you have something to look forward to. Hang in there, okay? The best way to keep from falling behind is to keep track of when everything is due. Also, keep in close contact with your professors to avoid confusion. Turn in assignments early if possible. Then you can cruise by until you finally get to relax over break.

I’m so over being stuck inside the house during snow days. How do I keep myself from going crazy?

Enjoy the snow to its fullest–go outside and be active. You can always study and spend some quality time with your roommates. There are many conventional types of entertainment to enjoy, too.

Dust off the old board games from the closet or switch the PS2 back on. Better yet, do some actual dusting. That will help you burn off all that excess energy that you’ve built up from being stuck around the house. Get your spring cleaning done way early. It’s helpful to get things done in a more zen environment. There isn’t much of a downside to cleaning your house or going the extra mile to clean things you usually ignore. After all, you have all the time in the world.

I feel like I’m stuck in my major. Am I just wasting my money going on this way?

If you feel like you’re stuck in your major, maybe you should be exploring other options. If that’s a big or expensive leap for you, talk to people in your field that already have the job you want. Speaking to those professionals will help you get some perspective and direction on what you need to achieve your goals.

Highlanders Anonymous: Allergies, birthdays, and over-spending

Cat allergies can cause problems
Cat allergies can cause problems. Graphic from Mother Nature Network

“I have two cats, but my girlfriend is allergic. She says she won’t come over to my place unless I get rid of them. Should I give the cats up?”

Hopefully, your girlfriend isn’t seriously thinking that you’ll get rid of your pets. If your cats mean anything to you, don’t get rid of them. Relationships come and go, but a pet is a companion for their whole lifetime.

If you’re actually considering giving the cats up, maybe you should. Having a pet is a huge commitment. Deciding to keep the cats or get rid of them shouldn’t be taken lightly. You’re in charge of two lives here. Pets depend on their owners to do what’s best for them. If that means a new home, then give them up.

“How can I tell if I’m bisexual?”

Are you attracted to both sexes? If yes, then you’re considered bisexual by themost basic definition. That doesn’t mean you have to pursue– or stay away from–same-sex relationships. It’s up to you who you’ll pursue in the future. I advise you not to pressure yourself with a label. Love who you love!

“Everyone forgot it was my birthday last week. Are they bad friends?”

Friends get busy and forget things. Don’t take it personally. They’re sure to feel bad when they realize their slip-up. If you want to celebrate your birthday, make it happen. Throw a party and don’t dwell on these negative thoughts.

“When I go to the store, I always buy way too many things. Sometimes, I only go to buy bread, milk, and eggs, but I come out with ten other items. I really don’t have money to spend on things I don’t need. How can I stop getting so sidetracked?”

It sounds like you’re are trying out a method of stress relief called “retail therapy.” This can effectively distract you from the real problems at hand, but it doesn’t  solve them. In fact, it’s probably making things worse because now you’re also going broke. Instead of shopping, go talk to somebody about your problems, and make a stricter budget.

 

Highlanders Anonymous: Is this real life?

“It’s been really hard to get exercise this semester. How can I find the time?”

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“Physical exercise can relieve stress, so we’ve got to find time for it.” Photo by: Caroline Leggett

Exercise is very important, for both our physical and mental states.  Physical exercise can relieve stress, so it can be very important  to find time for it no matter how busy our schedules are. If you’re finding that it’s difficult to schedule a set time for exercise, you can always be a bit more spontaneous. Start by keeping exercise clothes on campus at all times. That way, whenever an opportunity arises, you will be ready. Leaving exercise clothes at home is one of the most common reasons to pass up a workout. Be prepared and I’m sure something will come up.

“What is the least embarrassing way to ask someone on a date?”

Do something special for this significant person and ask them when the time is right for you. Don’t push yourself before you’re ready, but don’t wait forever. Otherwise asking will become more and more difficult.

“How do I break it to my roommate that I don’t want to live with them anymore? I’d like to spare their feelings, but I’m so sick of them!”

If you’re really sick of someone, it’s only a matter of time before you say something you’ll regret. This whole process will come a lot easier if you’re more honest with yourself and your roommate. Until you’re able to get away, tell them if you are bothered by something they do so your problems don’t snowball into something crazy and dysfunctional. If those things aren’t working for you and you’ve made up your mind to get away , just tell them that you have found another living situation that will work better for you. It’s up to them whether they’re going to take this personally. There’s not much you can do about that.

“My room looks so boring. It makes me not want to have guests over. How can I make it nicer and more comfortable?”

Decoration is key here. Use mementos, art, and lighting to make your room more customized to suit your personality. A cheap way to do this is to buy string lights and posters of things you like. These items are found at most department stores. If you want to make your room more comfortable, consider setting up a sitting area . This could be a comfy reading chair, or just another place for guests to relax.

“Is this real life?”

It could be real life–or we could be in the Matrix.

Highlanders Anonymous: Go to sleep!

What do I do when everything is too much and I probably have to quit something?

First of all, don’t panic! We all get overwhelmed sometimes. Quitting may end up being the best option for you — but to cool off, how about to looking at all your options? Make a pros and cons list. What would be good about you quitting versus staying in your present situation? Only you can answer those questions. Answer them as honestly as possible and you’ll find out what works best for you. You might also want to consider what outside factors are pushing you to quit.

I’m really behind on my papers! I can’t seem to get organized. What do I do?

I’d say that you have a case of procrastination only gets worse with time. Try using an assignment book and plan out times when you can work on your papers. Make sure to keep those times open so that you don’t keep getting behind. There are many other tools to help you get organized. You always have the option of using your phone to set alerts and keep your calendar organized. There are also many free resources online that can help you with scheduling, as well as good old-fashioned spreadsheets. Remember that schedules aren’t always easy to enforce and it takes time to get used to them, so don’t veer off course by ignoring your schedule right at the start.

Napping-students
“It is hard to have a regular sleeping schedule while trying to find balance with all the craziness.”

My friends think I drink too much coffee and I’m trying to cut down, but I can’t even stay awake without it. How can I get more energy?

 To get more energy, you need more sleep! It’s hard to have a regular sleeping schedule while trying to find balance with all the craziness. There are few things that are going to keep you from falling apart this semester. A human body can go through some crazy things and still survive –but without sleep, you’re doomed. You won’t be able to focus as well in class or give your all on homework if you aren’t well rested. Don’t forget that a well-balanced diet will go a long way in keeping you energized.

 How do I make friends? I’m new in this town and school.

 The best strategy for being involved with others is becoming more involved in school life. There are many clubs, sports, and other organizations you can join to meet new people and have fun. Don’t forget that volunteering or getting a job will also introduce you to others. If you happened to miss the most recent club fair, don’t fret. You can still contact clubs and go to meetings through your RU Involved app on the school website.

 

Highlanders Anonymous: Diary, bills, and extra school

“I spend way too much time playing video games everyday. How do I stop getting so distracted and get my real work done?”

Procrastinating when you have a lot of work to do can become a real issue and it’s a pretty common one. Take steps to se that you focus enough to actually get your work done on time, even if you have to force yourself. I’d even go as far to say that you should unplug your game console during weekdays. That way, the temptation is gone.

“Is there a way to keep my roommates in check? They’re super forgetful and I’m afraid they’re going to leave the heat on every time they go out? The electricity bill is going to be too high this winter!”

If you are able to have a chat with your roommates about this, ask them to set reminders for themselves to prevent this from becoming a hindrance. You all could also agree on an attention-grabbing sign on the front door that reminds them to switch off the heat.

Remember that there’s no outright way to force people to change the way they are. If there is no peaceful way to stop them from leaving the heat on, tell them that they must pay a larger portion of the heating bill. The best solution would ideally be the one with a compromise though.

“Some people tell me that I wear too much makeup and it’s really annoying. What’s the best way to tell them off?”

Ignoring them might be a better way to go about that. However, if you have to encounter these people often, don’t feel like you have to justify yourself for wearing your makeup. Be honest and tell them that their behavior is bothering you.

“I have the option to spend another year at school, but it’s not required. I’m not sure if it’s work it or not. Should I stay or just get a job?”

Only go to school for another year if it will be worth it in the long run. Ask yourself an important question; “Will not going to school the extra year prevent me from achieving my goals?”

“Where should I hide my diary?”

diary
“Where should I hide my diary?”

Transfer it onto your computer and password-protect it. Then, dispose of the paper copy.

Highlanders Anonymous: Attendance grades and heartbreak

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“If your professor isn’t willing to help you out, then I suggest you attend class anyway.” Photo by: Sydney Crawson.

“My professor grades his students on attendance. I am constantly sick, and don’t have the time to be going to the doctor all of the time for a note to excuse me from class, but I also don’t want to fail. What do I do?”First, you really should go to the doctor at least once to try and get some medicine that will get rid of whatever you have for good. If you’ve already done that and are still getting sick, you really need to talk to your professor. Explain the whole situation to him or her, and suggest a person who regularly attends class to be your note-taker. If your professor isn’t willing to help you out, then I suggest you attend class anyway; it’s honestly the only other option. Wear pajamas to class and bring a lot of tea; do whatever you can to keep yourself comfortable. If you have to go, the least you can do is feel good.

“My boyfriend of five years just broke up with me, out of nowhere. I really thought that we were meant to be and I’m so heartbroken. I can’t focus on anything, and I’m so behind on my schoolwork. I don’t know what to do.”

I’d definitely suggest that you seek him out and talk to him. This breakup probably wasn’t out of nowhere for him, and finding out what happened might help you find some peace. On the other hand, maybe you had a big fight and his decision to break it off was spur-of-the-moment. In this case, he might be regretting breaking up with you. Seeing you now might help him to put in a final decision about whether or not he really wants your relationship to be over. In either case, you’ll continue feeling lost until you finalize what happened between you two.

“Last night I was intoxicated and wrote up my paper for my CORE class (Don’t worry, I’m 21). The only problem is that the paper was awful and I submitted it anyway. I still have time to rewrite it before the due-date, but I have no idea how to turn in the real paper now.”

I hope this situation has taught you about the problems of writing while intoxicated, so, don’t do it in the future. Since you still have time, go ahead and write up the second version of the paper, and try and resubmit it. Most drop-boxes let you submit things multiple times for cases like this. If that doesn’t work, email your professor and explain that you don’t want the paper you submitted to be graded, and that you have the replacement. He or she will most likely either change the drop-box settings to allow you to resubmit, or will accept the paper via email.

I hope I helped with your problems! If you have any other problems, comments, concerns, or questions, send them in to Highlanders Anonymous.

 

Highlanders Anonymous: My roommates are pigs

“So I’ve been dating someone for a while now…and he won’t admit to anyone what we are but me. I really like him but I don’t think what he is doing is okay…what should I do?”

I would be wondering why he wouldn’t admit or tell anyone about the two of you being an item too. Although it might hurt your feelings that he won’t refer to you all as a couple in public, maybe he has a reason for it. If you’re in a work environment, people often keep their relationships on the “down low” to ensure privacy and not disrupt workplace relations.

However, if that’s not the case, it could be that he is just shy. Perhaps he’s afraid of changing the dynamics in your peer group. Don’t just sit watching and waiting for him to show you the answer you are looking for. Try and be straightforward with your feelings. I believe that the key to a healthy relationship is honesty. Also, if this is a deal breaker, make sure you get that across when you bring this issue up.

“I really want a dog but I can’t afford the fee of the pet deposit for my apartment. Any tips?”

I’m sorry, but I’m guessing that if you don’t have enough money for a pet deposit, you probably don’t have the money to keep a pet. There are numerous fees every month for a pet: food, flea prevention, vaccinations, etc. If you aren’t prepared to pay those when getting an animal, then don’t make the commitment!

“Help! My roommates are pigs! I have tried to bring it up but they end up mocking me and leaving. I don’t want to live like this anymore. What should I do?”

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“Help! My roommates are pigs!” Photo by: Caroline Leggett

Sometimes we’re stuck with roommates (and other not-so-friendly people) that won’t respect our standards of cleanliness. Even though it’s a pain, you’re going to have to just find your own way of coping. Try to make your room nice and spend more time in there or buy your own things so you won’t have to argue over people using the last clean spoon.

Hey, I’m pretty shy and I have been having trouble making friends in class. Are there any good methods on how to start a conversation without being too awkward? Should I just join a club or something?

I would say that most new interactions are going to be a little awkward, so brace yourself. I think that the best “method” to start a conversation is to just bring up a topic that’s relatable and take a seat with someone. That way you have time to talk and get to know one another. Joining a club is like being in a new little family. I definitely recommend that. You can make all sorts of great connections in a club.

That’s all for this week, folks. Don’t forget to submit your questions to Highlanders Anonymous too.

Highlanders Anonymous: He never texts me back

“What should I do if a boy says he likes me, but never texts me back and only does when I get mad?”

First of all, it could be that texting isn’t really his forté, although it’s unlikely. When you’re interested in somebody and they lead you to believe that they are too, things may get very frustrating. This is because you’ve built this person up to be someone in your mind that you are deserving of. That’s a good thing though. You want to set some standard for the people that you go out with.

However, you must know that not everyone is going to live up to your predetermined set of expectations. If they can’t do that, don’t wait up for them. In the end, you’ll only end up hurting yourself. Make sure you share your feelings with him before you go and write him off though. For example: If you don’t text me back, then it gives me the impression that you’re not interested. See what he has to say about that.

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“If you don’t text me back, then it gives me the impression that you’re not interested. See what he has to say about that.” Photo of: Jamie Zander. Photo by: Caroline Leggett.

“I have a friend who’s really similar to me and we have the same ambitions, so it’s really fun to work with her. Sometimes I feel like we compete too much. It gets to the point where we don’t feel like friends anymore. What do I do?”

It sounds to me like you might need to take a step back here and analyze your friendship. Why did you decide to be friends in the first place? If you feel that you still want to be friends after you answer that question, go outside of this work environment. Try doing something that friends do, where you can just relate to one another and do something fun. If that doesn’t go, maybe you all just don’t get along so well anymore. People change sometimes and can’t remain friends.

“What’s your opinion on the “Basic Bitch”? Some people think it’s ok, but others get really mad.”

I think that it’s a negative thing to call anyone a bitch in any context. The phrase “Basic Bitch” seems a little passive aggressive. If you don’t know your audience, it could be deemed offensive, so be careful when discussing it.

 

Thanks for all of the submissions, everyone. Good luck!

If you or someone you know has a problem, submit a question to Highlanders Anonymous.

Highlanders Anonymous: More about myself, less about you

This week there are more questions about me than about you readers, but I’m okay with that! I’ll be just as brutally honest when answering about myself, I promise. Send in more questions about yourselves, and I’ll get right to answering those!

“What’s your opinion of online dating?”

I’m not the biggest fan of online dating. I want to have a full-blown accurate representation of how a person speaks and acts around others before I decide to date them. You see, a guy or girl may be perfectly sweet and nice when talking to you online, but are the type of person who yells at waiters and complains about every dish they’re served. I just think that you have to get to know someone in person before you are ready to date him or her.

“Which fairytale would you like to live in?”

Are we talking Disney fairytales or the original versions? If we’re talking about the first option, then I would choose The Little Mermaid, however, my answer would change dramatically if we are talking about the original versions of these stories. I don’t know if you know this, but all of the original fairytales are completely different. For instance, in the original Hans Christian Anderson version of The Little Mermaid, the prince falls for someone else, and the mermaid commits suicide.

kid swimming
“Are we talking Disney fairytales or the original versions? If we’re talking about the first option, then I would choose The Little Mermaid.”

 

“How can people become happy?”

Excluding depression and other illnesses, it’s pretty simple to become happier. Don’t let your life revolve around another person or other people. Find something that you enjoy doing alone, and do it. The more comfortable that you are hanging out alone, the more comfortable you’ll become with yourself when you hangout with other people. You’ll gain more self-confidence, which is truly appealing. Also, make decisions based on what you want. Don’t let the opinions of others dictate what you do.

“Are you good at swimming?”

 Yes, I do. My parents taught me to swim when I was three or four, and I’ve been swimming ever since. Swimming is both one of the most relaxing activities, and one of the best exercises. I think that everyone should learn to swim, even if its just for safety reasons.

Send in questions for me for next week’s article at ask.fm/HighlandersAnonymous

Highlanders Anonymous: Puppies and the “jealous type”

“I live off-campus and recently adopted a two month old puppy. She’s so cute and sweet, but won’t stop peeing on the floor. I take her out so often, but she still does it! I don’t know what to do. Help.”

Dog shaming. Graphic from dogshaming.com
Dog shaming. Graphic from dogshaming.com

The good news is that the reason she has to pee so often is that she’s a baby. In a few months her bladder will be bigger and she’ll need to pee less often. The bad news is that this is something you’ll have to wait for. If she’s peeing outside every time you take her, then she’s probably already trained to know that outside is the place to pee.

For now, take her out as often as possible, and then keep an eye on her when you let her walk around inside. When you can’t watch her, keep her in a kennel with a towel. This puppy period will take some patience, but its well worth it. Dogs are the most wonderful animals; you can come home to them after a bad day and they’ll be ready for you with kisses and cuddles.

“My boyfriend recently became friends with a girl in one of his classes and they hang out all the time. Last week he even blew off lunch with me to hangout with her. I’m not normally the jealous type, but this is really hurting my feelings. What do I do?”

There is no such thing as the “jealous type”. Everyone gets feelings of jealousy from time to time- it’s natural. It just means that you have someone you don’t want to lose, and are being protective. This is really hurting you, and you need to talk to him. In these situations, bottling up your feelings will only result in a big fight down the road where you may say a lot of things you don’t mean.

When you talk to him, don’t be accusatory and don’t slander his friend. Whether or not you’re fond of her, he is. He’ll take it personally if you talk badly about his new friend. Simply make it clear that your feelings are hurt, and that you’d like to spend a little more time with him.

Need a little advice? Send in your question to http://ask.fm/HighlandersAnonymous.

Highlanders Anonymous: Welcome back!

At Whim we strongly discourage lying, so we’re going to be honest with you here: college is hard. Classes alone are enough to send any student into a fit of stress. When you factor in all of the social problems that come with sticking thousands of college students into such a condensed area, it almost becomes too much to navigate. Luckily, there’s one beacon in the darkness that serves as advice to those in need, and it’s being resurrected for another year of giving much-needed advice to students who are at the end of their rope. Welcome back to Highlanders Anonymous. We’re here to help.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, but I feel like things are not going so well. The main problem is I’m not as attracted to her as I was. Its not that she’s ugly or anything but while she’s stuck in party life, I’m about to get my degree.

Being in a relationship with someone for as long as you have (relationship years are like dog years: they count for way more) definitely makes it harder to acknowledge things that may be causing problems between the two of you. Because of that, I commend you for recognizing the source of difficulty for the two of you. However, this could be a slippery slope, as it seems like you’re already beginning to look down on her for the way that she’s choosing to enjoy her college experience. It may just be that you two enjoy yourselves in different ways, not that one is more mature than the other. As much as I love corresponding with you, having a conversation with your girlfriend about your concerns is  a better way to solve your problems than having one with me.

I caught my boyfriend sexting his ex. I really like him, but I don’t know if I should be with a guy who does this. Can you help me out?

You absolutely shouldn’t. Awesome. Next question.

My roommate is starting to get really annoying. I used to just let it go, but it is starting to be an ongoing thing. How do I talk to her about it without sounding mean?

I’d recognize this as not really being a problem with her. You might need to take a step back and realize that being annoying is subjective, and that what you are really taking issue with is the fact that your personalities just don’t mesh very well. There’s no way to talk the annoying out of someone. If you’re really bothered by it, I’d recommend spending time outside of the dorm making other friends. How annoying can someone possibly be if you rarely see them?

I just found out my girlfriend eats Nutella out of the jar with a spoon. I’m seriously grossed out now, and it’s affecting our relationship! She’s otherwise a wonderful, loving person. What do I do to get past this?

I think that’s enough of this for one week.

You can send in your questions for me to answer at ask.fm/HighlandersAnonymous

Highlanders Anonymous: Leaving RU and switching majors

“Leaving Radford is my biggest fear. I’m not graduating or anything, I’m just going home for the summer and I’m dreading it more than anything. I have no friends back home, plus the guy I like is staying here and there’s no telling what he is going to be doing while I’m gone. I don’t want to leave Radford, but I clearly don’t have a choice since I live in the dorms. How can I make myself not hate being home as much? Continue reading Highlanders Anonymous: Leaving RU and switching majors

Highlander’s Anonymous: The end of friendships and semesters

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Highlanders Anonymous: Insomniacs and Adderall addicts unite

“I can’t sleep. No matter what I do, I find myself up until 4 a.m. each night despite having an 8 a.m. every day. I don’t drink caffeine and I try to eat healthy, so it’s not like I’m having a sugar overload. I just lay in bed for hours tossing and turning only to get more frustrated.  I’m not sure exactly what’s causing me to stay awake.” Continue reading Highlanders Anonymous: Insomniacs and Adderall addicts unite

Highlanders Anonymous: LDRs and safe hookups

Can you tell me what you describe as safe sex? I have heard so many different things that are considered “safe.” They say Radford is a breeding ground for STD’s and I understand based on some of the reckless things people do during sex. What’s the best way to be safe? Continue reading Highlanders Anonymous: LDRs and safe hookups