Tag Archives: letting go

Forgive and Forget

Part 1: Forgive

You forgave the mother who
Birthed, traumatized and left me in fear
You forgave the best friend who
Spent years putting me down to make himself feel better
You forgave that girl on the bus who
Barely knew you but touched you without consent
You forgave that short blonde girl who
Broke your heart and kissed her crush in front of you
You forgave the drug dealer who
Threatened to assault you because of false accusations
You forgave the nerdy best friend who
Left you to be tormented by the other kids
You forgave the 7th-grade class who
Bullied you to the brink of antisocial isolation
You forgave the father who
Was barely around and used you as physical labor
You forgave all of these people

Or did you?
You spent years letting
The emotions tear away
You let the pain
Sit on your shoulders
You let the emotion bundle up inside like a butterfly
In a cocoon
It hatched
And flew away
Now the feeling is gone

You don’t care
Why forgive people
Who don’t deserve it?
If the body is numb
Is the mind numb?
Does the emotional trauma heal
Or does it get worse?
Time heals all wounds
But some wounds stain the mind
Fear’s trophy case
Does it really even matter anymore?

Hold the feelings in your hands
Let them slide between your fingers
Into the dark abyss
One lie at a time
One fear at a time
Watch it fall
And then let the tension
Drop like rain
One drop at a time
But enough to
Let the sun out
So you can see your shadow
Of who you were

Part 2: Forget

Breathe….1, 2, 3….
And like a gasp of air hold it in
And then let it out
Whoosh, let the emotion out
Like a summer breeze, it will calmly escape
And you’ll forget
Ignorant bliss
Memory does not stay in the mind
It flees
Because it doesn’t want to face the pain
You want to forget
You always did

Get your (control) freak on, or maybe not

For a long time, I’ve been a control freak. I absolutely loathe the feeling of not having control in a situation. Lately, however, I’ve started to learn that not having control is okay.

There are many events that we experience as humans that are completely out of our control. Deaths, breakups, or the loss of a friend or pet  all make it easy to feel that our lives are spiraling out of control. It’s easy to blame ourselves for different tragedies. We ask, “why me?” or “why not me?” when we become ill or lose a loved one. Focusing on these negative things, however, is toxic.

Are you controlling others? Graphic from Mother Nature Network
Are you controlling others? Graphic from Mother Nature Network

When we live in the past and spend time worrying about events that have already occurred, enjoying the present situation can be extremely difficult. While going through a hard time, we often forget the simplest of pleasures — such as the sun on our skin or simply being alive.

Recently, I went through something that made me stop in my tracks. For a long time I was imagining my future in a certain way, and couldn’t imagine it any other way. Unfortunately, the Universe (or whatever) had other plans, and now my plans are impossible. In the past, when going through similar situations, I would spend days or even months trying to put the pieces back together. For a moment, I found myself doing the same this time. Once I looked around at the things I still had and put the event to the back of my mind, I felt like my life could resume.

When things don’t go the way we want them to, we often put our lives on hold. It’s okay to take time to heal, but I believe the healing process is quickened when we don’t let the situation control our lives. The downside to being a control freak is that it can be really hard allow things to fix themselves. Instead, we often sit and stew over thing.As a result, we make the situation much worse.

It’s important to allow ourselves to relax –whether or not we have control. Sometimes simply taking a step back from the situation,may show that things aren’t as bad as we have ourselves convinced. Letting go can be extremely freeing and rewarding — and often, allows the situation and stress to resolve itself.