If you can’t tell by the title, I’m so F****** stressed out. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I feel every single emotion at once. Anger, frustration, sadness, adrenaline, excitement, fear, and the list goes on and on. Leaving high school, I never thought college would be this stressful. Everybody always says “Oh, college is so much better. Just wait.” Well, it looks like I’m still waiting for college to not suck as much as it does now.
There are way too many things to juggle in college. School work, home work, work work, social life, family life, trying to figure what I want to do with my life, and so on. I’m stressed out all the time and I don’t know how to turn my brain off. Attempting to do all of the stuff on my to-do list is frustrating and annoying and I wish I had someone to help me. But I realize that most of the things I need to do are things I need to do myself, things that I need to accomplish on my own. That doesn’t change the fact that I hate it and I wish it would all just stop for a little bit.
Being an adult is terrifying. Who knew that having all of this responsibility for my own work and for myself would be paralyzingly stressful. High school and other experiences try and prepare for what college has to offer, but no experience can truly depict what it feels like to be in college. It feels like you’re constantly running a marathon but you don’t know what you’re running towards, what the end looks like. You just keep running and running because everybody else is. But what is the point of it all?
I’m still trying to figure out my purpose in life, why I was put on this earth. I still don’t understand why we are put through the experiences that we are and what lesson we’re supposed to learn from it. I don’t understand life or what it all means, and I probably will never find out. But what I do know is that everything does have a purpose and a meaning. College is supposed to teach us something valuable and everything happens for a reason.