Tag Archives: mental

Is it cheating?

When it comes to relationships, everyone has a different definition of cheating. For some people, cheating strictly means having sex with someone else. For other, kissing or even just thinking about being with someone else is cheating and isn’t tolerated, a zero toleration policy. I know one couple who give each other passes, where they can do whatever they want with other people and face no consequences for it. Here are the main ways to cheat and the different viewpoints surrounding them.

  1. Is it cheating? Graphic from Sex Advice Online
    Is it cheating? Graphic from Sex Advice Online

    Is thinking about another person intimately cheating?

In many relationships, mentally cheating on someone is the same, if not worse, than physically cheating on them. Relationships are based on a mental and emotional connection and if that get severed, than the basis for one’s relationship is broken or, essentially, built on false pretenses the entire time. It would be absolutely heartbreaking to know that your relationship is a lie and the connection you thought you had with someone is not as special as you thought.

  1. Is watching porn cheating?

Some people believe that watching porn is cheating, based on the idea that watching other people have sex is connecting to the cheating mentally idea. If you’re thinking about other people sexually, going as far as masturbating to other people, then essentially you’re having sex with different people in your mind, making it cheating and devastating to your partner.

  1.  When straight girls kiss other girls while being in a relationship, is it cheating?

This is a controversial question. There are many guys who would say no to this question because they think their girlfriends kissing other girls is hot and, somewhat, not real because they aren’t gay. However, this idea is detrimental to the gay community. It’s what doesn’t stop guys from hitting on girls who say they have a girlfriend. They don’t take it seriously because they think all lesbians are kissing girls for their entertainment and that, in the end, they’ll go back to dating men.

Girls kissing other girls should be considered cheating because it is. The gender of the person who is cheating with the person in the relationship really doesn’t matter. They were unfaithful. Simple as that.

Cheating, I think, is a black and white issue. Did you kiss/have sex with someone who isn’t me? Yes? Then you cheated on me. Bye. Although I agree that some cases of cheating are more complicated than others, cheating is cheating and it should never be done, no matter the circumstances. If you’re having problems in the relationship, talk them out. If you break up, that’s okay. It’s way better the break up than to cheat on your partner. Think before your decide to cheat.

Energy vampires

Energy vampires are people who suck the positive energy from your being, whether they do so consciously or not. They can be friends, family, or even people you have just met. Energy vampires tend to focus on people who are easily suggestible, have low self-esteem, and wish to drain their victim of all positive energy. Most energy vampires are unhappy themselves, and in some cases, their subconscious is at fault.  The energy vampire, themselves, can’t control the energy they create or take away.

Victims of energy vampires see improvements the second they have detached from the vampire, when they have left the room or cut them off them off completely. Energy vampires usually use fear as the gateway into stealing your positive energy, but if you protect yourself from these types of people with spiritual techniques, they can’t take advantage of you.

Do you know any vampires that drain you of energy? Graphic from
Do you know any vampires that drain you of energy? Graphic from The Tarot Lady

My girlfriend had an event at her church called the “Soup and Sandwich Luncheon,” which by the title, you can guess what it entailed. On our way there, we both had a bad feeling about what was to occur, seeing as she left her church two years ago after attending for 16 years, having been done with dealing with a fire and brimstone type of environment. However, her parents wanted to see her and we felt obligated to go.

The second we walked into the building, people my girlfriend use to call friends all turned and stared at us, going as far as rolling their eyes at our presence. I immediately felt this heavy weight on my chest and my stomach began to hurt. My girlfriend started to cry because of the way they treated her, judging and whispering as if we couldn’t hear them.

After the initial feelings we experienced, we got our food and sat down next to her parents, unfortunately, leaving me to sit at the energy vampire’s table. They didn’t speak to me and I didn’t speak to them, but I could feel their eyes on me, trying to intimidate me and make me feel embarrassed or unwelcomed. I tried my best to ignore them and listen to a different conversation.

Later on, after the energy vampires had left, I felt very tired, as if I had just worked an eight hour shift, or took a six hour road trip. I couldn’t explain the way I was feeling without connecting the dots to the energy vampires. I had never believed in a concept so much until I encountered those people. I felt so sick and tired, and those feeling came out of nowhere. It had to be the energy vampires, and I truly hope I never have to go back to that church.

After leaving the church and driving around in an attempt to calm myself down, I began to feel a bit better. I didn’t feel as tired and my stomach stopped hurting. I knew it was because I had put enough time and distance between myself and the energy vampires. I know now that if I ever have to go back there, I need to protect myself and learn to fight off their soul-sucking energy. Energy vampires don’t have to steal your happiness away. All you have to do is learn how to protect yourself, or simply, refuse to allow those people into your life. It’s your choice.

Nobody’s perfect

You’ve heard that phrase dozens of times, but it’s true: nobody is perfect. Everyone gets stressed. That’s the way humans are. The good news is that there are many ways to handle your stress levels. The first step is to acknowledge that you can’t always function at 100 percent. Mistakes happen and that’s okay.

In your relationships, don’t walk on eggshells. If something is bothering you, let others know. It causes a high level of anxiety to hide your true feelings. It’s healthy to communicate how you feel about a situation and it brings about more solid relationships when you are able to be honest with another person.

Physical aspects also affect your mental state. Getting regular sleep and exercise can do wonders to help your state of mind. In addition, a healthy diet goes a long way. If there is too much going on for you to handle, trim the fat. Cut out unnecessary activities that eat away possible relaxation time.

A 19751
“You’ve heard that phrase dozens of times, but it’s true: Nobody is perfect. Everyone gets stressed.”

If you haven’t already, ask yourself this question: Where does my stress come from? Often enough, it comes from trying to control the impossible. For example, you can’t control your professor that loves to give out pop quizzes. However, you can control yourself. If you learn that you have a spontaneous professor, always be prepared for that class by studying beforehand.

Be realistic about what you are capable of. You can’t do everything, nor be in two places at once, unless you have a cloning machine. Organize your schedule as such. Factor your bills into this stress management exercise as well. Keeping track of your money and where it needs to go can prevent future economic crisis and panic.

Focus on things that you like to do. Do what makes you happy. There are many hobbies that’ll make you forget your troubles and unwind. Some choose to unwind by using alcohol or drugs. However, those are only momentary distractions. It’s important to learn what really helps you the most, even if you have to go through some trials and errors. For example: meditation, jogging, yoga, and counseling. No matter where you go, your mental state will follow you, because you haven’t yet broken your pattern that causes you distress. Solve your problems, instead of hiding them.

Don’t forget that there are professionals here on campus you can talk to for free. You can make an appointment with a counselor in the lower level of Tyler Hall.