Tag Archives: temporary people

How to grow from temporary people and situations

Being a college-aged human can be really difficult. College is a time when people, places and things are very temporary. Whether you find yourself having temporary friends or in a temporary romantic relationship, it can be very discouraging when someone who you’d like as a permanent fixture in your life turns out to just be a tumbleweed passing through life.

Losing friends or a romantic interest is never easy. When you invest your time and emotions in someone or something it can be very discouraging.

However, college students especially need to accept these people and things as part of the experience. As a graduating senior, I can tell you that there are going to be countless people who come in and out of your life in your college years. As much as it sucks to have so many things come and go so quickly, there is a very spiritual lesson to be learned.

When I was a freshman, I couldn’t imagine my life without my best friend, who was also my suite mate. We were incredibly close and I had never connected with someone on such a deep level so quickly. However, by the end of the school year we were out of each others lives.

Even though it hurt to lose someone I had become so close to, there were so many things I got to experience that I would never have even attempted had it not been for my friendship with her.

pedestal
“Don’t be afraid to get attached to people.”

Dating in college is a drag in itself. Some couples tough it out and wind up lasting forever, but for the most part, college relationships wind up being short flings. Oftentimes, I’ve been blindsided by someone I had genuine interest in when they expressed that they weren’t as invested as I was. It can be infuriating but looking at the positives is essential to healing and growing.

For example, one of my college boyfriends dumped me last year. We had been together for a while and when we broke up I was devastated. I felt like I had this vision of what we could’ve been and I saw us being together for a while. However, he had different feelings.

Looking back almost a year after we broke up, I smile seeing how that relationship shaped me. I’m proud of the person I’ve become because of the experiences I shared with him. Because of him, I got to travel around the east coast and experiences places I’ve never even dreamed of. I also got to experience Colorado, a cornerstone moment in my life which helped me decide where I want to be when I graduate.

The great Buddha once said, “the root of suffering is attachment.” While this is true, don’t be afraid to get attached to people. Experience life in its fullest form, including all of its many disappointments. Just because someone is temporary doesn’t mean they can’t bring permanent fixtures such as new tastes in music, culture or even new foods that you never would’ve tried before. Take each disappointing person and situation and use it to fertilize your growth.