Not everyone knows this, but cockroaches are pretty much universally hated. Like, it’s not that they’re unpleasant. I mean they are, but so are rats, so I can’t really judge them for that. The real problem with roaches though, is how flat out dumb they are.
“Whoo! We’re gonna party hard tonight!”
I sighed as Euterpe bounced around the pipes. Ever since he’d moved in with the letter-shirt humans he’d been especially insufferable. Calliope and I were fairly certain he was mimicking them, and his open invitation to all of the buildings residents to join him for a party inside the ceiling tiles was further proof of our theory.
“You look miserable, you know that?” Calliope said, sounding more amused than concerned for my well being.
“Do I? Can’t imagine why,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s not like I was promised food and haven’t gotten any.”
Calliope laughed. She always had a better humor for these things.
“Check it!” Euterpe said, waving his antennae at a large glass bottle that was half filled with an absolutely foul smelling liquid.
“Is that human stupid juice?” Calliope asked. Euterpe nodded, practically buzzing with excitement.
“How did it even get here?” I asked. There was no way Euterpe could have moved it, it was too big. Cockroaches were resilient little creatures, but they weren’t very strong.
“The guys who live in the room above us pried up a tile to make a secret alcohol hiding hole,” Euterpe said. “Little do they know, we’re here to bust into this stash!”
“Uh huh,” I said, unable to muster up the same enthusiasm. Human stupid juice smelled horrible, and it made humans do the dumbest things, almost as dumb as what cockroaches do in their spare time. I wasn’t really looking forward to trying it. “Well I’m out.”
“Aww, Thalia, come on! It’ll be fun!” Euterpe said, crawling over the bottle to get to it’s top. “At least help me get it open? Please?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to, but then Calliope gave me her “you should be nice to others” face, and I had to.
The bottle wasn’t too hard to open, I just had to twist the cap a bit and then the nasty dark liquid within spilled everywhere. Euterpe cheered, and I moved away from the gross smell before any of the liquid could get stuck in my fur.
“Can we go now?” I asked Calliope, pouting at her. All I’d wanted was food, I should have known better than to trust a roach. Rats were much more credible.
“I guess, but what about—”
Calliope was cut off by a very scary sound coming from the ceiling tile that the stupid juice was spilling out onto.
“Uh, Euterpe, you might wanna move,” I said, backing away as the tile started to sag.
“Huh? No way, this is awesome!” Euterpe said, giggling as he swam in the dark liquid. “I feel great!”
The tile creaked again, then gave way entirely, sending the bottle, and Euterpe, crashing down to the floor below.
The humans started screaming, the bottle shattered, and I suddenly felt sort of bad about all the bad things I’d said about Euterpe.